How to get out of a neurotic relationship

Emotions are an indispensable fuel for a relationship, but if there are too many, they can work the opposite way.

Emotional relationships can be compared to a swamp: it’s easy to get in and it’s hard to get out. Some stay there forever, others jump from one abyss to another, and others wonder how it is possible to be in an alliance that brings suffering.

What is a neurotic relationship?

A neurotic relationship is an unhealthy relationship that is quite easy to calculate: a neurotic person is prone to unbridled jealousy, checking phones, correspondence, flinching from every call and nervous interrogation: “Who’s calling you?” He is dependent on the other half primarily emotionally. Well-being, desires, self-esteem, relationships with friends and relatives – literally everything depends on the partner, his mood and words.

In a neurotic relationship there is no feeling of certainty, there are no guarantees, constant doubts and comparisons come to the fore. The partner always asks questions: “Will we always be together?”, “Will you never leave me?”, “Am I the prettiest person you’ve ever had?” But the most important problem is suffering. People feel miserable and, frankly, they like it themselves.  They add oil to the fire, they go to psychologists, read books about successful relationships and continue to suffer.

The big misconception is that neurotics are supposedly unhappy because others do. In fact, in a relationship, they mainly think of themselves, not their partner, and always look for someone who will give them the ground for even greater sadness.

Types of neurotic relationships

First type: “I feel sorry for him”

Many girls date their soul mates according to this principle. They feel sorry for an alcoholic or drug addict who is so nice to be rescued, a lazy husband who grew up on the sofa, a poor guy who will disappear without them, a crybaby for whom they are the only people in life. In this case, the problem is cultivated pity – the desire to be good and fear of being bad in the eyes of society.

Type two: “Who am I without him?”

How many songs, poems, movies are dedicated to the very love when people cannot do it without each other. They suffer in separation, hurt each other, fight loudly, breaking vases and cups. For neurotics, such a relationship is just a dream, because the absence of screams, jealousy and pain seems boring.

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